Traveling with Kids
Tips, Trips, and fun little clips exploring the world with kidsOne place my kids will never see with me
As you can imagine, I’m always on line researching and reading all things related to traveling with your kids. In my research just now for an Examiner article, I came across an article from Budget Travel.com on 15 places every kid should see. Number 2 on the list was Ground Zero in New York. Honestly, I felt like my heart stopped when I saw that suggestion but worse yet, it felt like someone punched me in as I read “The nearby Tribute-WTC Center exhibits crushed firefighter helmets and other recovered items.” But I knew that I was still breathing because if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have been able to cry. I am crying at this moment as I write. I felt compelled to get on and write this post as I sit in the midst of my heartache otherwise how I feel will not truly be conveyed at another time. And I feel that if I write through this I can get out of this place that the suggestion took me to. Unfortunately, my thoughts aren’t very organized right now, they are seriously all over the place, therefore my writing will be all over the place. I apologize for that. I’m not in a place where I can self edit and I will not return to this post to edit outside of spelling mistakes.
First off, you’re probably wondering why I am so upset. Well, I worked at 1WTC for Cantor Fitzgerald for 3 years after graduating college in ’96. I left my job as an institutional broker for grad school. Many of my friends that I made on the job working 12 hour days, 5 days a week, stayed behind continuing their careers, one of my closest friends in particular. She had just come out to visit me in Los Angeles where I was living at the time for a week a couple of months before that fateful day. When September 11th happened, I was still working in the securities business, so I was awake as I listened to the events on my way into work. When I got to my office and saw the images on the t.v. I had to leave. When I got to a girlfriend’s house to sit with her, it was before the anyone thought that the towers would fall but I knew that I’d need company because I couldn’t get my friend or anyone else in NY for that matter on the phone. All of my family lives in NY so I didn’t know what was going on or what to expect. It was the one time in my life where I felt the most alone in the world and probably made the mental note to move back East and be within driving distance from my family. When the towers fell, I sat looking at the screen in shock and then just started screaming and kept screaming. Even til this day, 8 years later, I know that I haven’t dealt with this. The pain is still there, dormant, suppressed. Every year on 9/11, I take a personal hiatus from television. I listen to no radio, I read no papers. I guess that’s not dealing with it.
Now to the Budget article. I was truly interested in reading where they thought EVERY kid should visit, prepared to make a mental note for my own. I’m always open to suggestions and new ideas. Reading that the “museum” has items retrieved from the towers has plummeted my imagination into overdrive. All I can think about is going there to face whatever demon I need to face and seeing a familiar item of my friend’s or my best friend’s ex-boyfriend (or an item of anyone else I knew from the job for that matter) and absolutely losing it. I know I would. I’m not even there and I feel like I’m losing it. What would I explain to my kids? Should I explain anything to them? I think that would be a conversation that I will leave for my husband. I think that would also be a trip I’d leave for him as well if he felt so inclined to take them. I understand it’s a part of our history now but that day isn’t just “history” for many people who lost loved ones. It’s a bad bad dream, one never to be forgotten. It’s a hole, like the one in the ground that marks the place of hate and destruction, that can never truly be filled. I think what also stung me was that the “museum” was charging. My thoughts on that are why should anyone make any money off of the death of our friends and family.
I’ll get through this moment. I have to leave the post in this place, not really wrapped up like I usually like to do because that would be disingenuous to my feelings right now.
I thought I’d dive completely into the digi blogging thing and set up mobile posting, just in case I had a little more to say than the 140 word tweet (as I’m sure I willl – hard for me to self edit). Hey, if you’re a busy mom or a traveling mom, it’s not always possible to sit down and write something. And there’s nothing quite like writing while you’re right there in the moment. Here we go!
Tawanna
Expert by no means
Sometimes we all experience a little bit of hubris and think that we have a routine down-packed. We feel good about ourselves and take for granted the system that allowed us to be so successful in the first place. The layman’s term for this behavior is: “slacking”. The reason why successful business people are successful is because they stick to a credible and working system, day in and day out.
My major system for calming my nerves and being organized when I travel with my little men is using my TDLs, my To-Do-Lists. They work each and every time and for the most part, the major items on them don’t change – pampers, wipes, extra change of clothes, snacks*, Nintendo DS, towel, washcloth, etc. etc. But for some reason, for a weekend trip we took earlier this month, I lost my mind for a second and actually thought I was an expert at packing the kids up and hitting the road. While my husband was getting his stuff together (which is his only responsibility), I was running around the house sans TDL, grabbing items that I thought were imprinted on the front of my eyelids because I had done it so many times in the recent month. Tsk tsk tsk, mommy. What was I thinking? Between my husband asking me questions, my text messages buzzing away, my oldest son racing his cars back and forth on my hard wood floors, and my one year old opening and shutting my kitchen cabinets, how could I expect myself to remember everything? Impossible. Why didn’t I make a quick list or grab an old one? Who knows? To my frustration and dismay, I forgot my washcloths, our pool towels, my cover-up, a pair of my son’s swim trunks, my infant’s swimmers, and a couple other smaller items. By the time I realized it, we were already at our destination, so there was no turning around to get anything. THAT’s why I write TDLs – because when I’m traveling, besides keeping myself organized and on track, I HATE FORGETTING STUFF! Hear me when I say, it is one of my biggest pet peeves. And rightfully so, because I refuse to purchase something that I already have at home (unless it is a dire need) and therefore, I make myself suffer and do without it.
It is my belief that no matter how many times you’ve packed up your children and hit the road, and no matter how many times you’ve written out a TDL and may think that you have it imprinted on your forehead - if you stray away from that proven system which you established that allowed you to not forget anything and get out of the house in a timely fashion without having to return, you are bound to forget something.
I challenge you to try it next time. Try to pack up for a trip, day or overnight, without your TDL (if you’ve normally used it in the past) and see if you don’t forget an item. Let me know how you do. I’m just curious. I know that I’ve learned my lesson. And though I am one of the ultimate multitaskers, probably an overtasker, I’m definitely not a memory bank. And I take pride in that fact. Hey, I’m a mom, not a computer! I’m all for my brain working smarter, not harder.
*Here is a list of some “mommy snacks” that I travel with: sugarless gum, protein or granola bars, almonds, raisins, almond butter, water, baby carrots, mini pickles, mini yogurt cups, rice cakes, grapes, sliced apple, and the occasional bag of chips.
Snacks that I pack for the children include: crackers, apple slices, fruit cups, chips, fruit chews, juice boxes, water, pretzel sticks, granola bars, and anything else I see in the house that I consider grab-and-go.
Bathing your baby while away from home
Confessions of a Mysophobe
It’s always seemed a little stressful for me to think about bath time for my baby while we traveled. He’s still in the ducky tub phase and I can’t fathom putting my child down in a hotel bathtub for his evening ritual. No matter how posh or seemingly clean a hotel room appears, I never take a bath in its facilities. I even make my husband and son wear flip flops when they take showers to protect their feet. I can’t even blame my germaphobia on the numerous hotel exposes I’ve watched on hidden “surprises” in hotel rooms. I just see my obsession as safe practices in health and cleanliness.
In the past, my husband and I tag teamed showering with the baby. One person would hold and wash him in the shower while the other waited outside for the pass like a quarterback after the snap. As my son has gotten bigger, maneuverability has become more of a challenge but he still isn’t ready for flip flop-laden showers. The solution was simple - invest in an extra inflatable tub for travel. They are inexpensive, lightweight, easy to clean, and familiar to him. I can always keep it deflated and stored in his suitcase since we already have one at home and inflate it once we reach our destination. I have no qualms about placing it in the hotel’s tub (though I may spray the tub down with disinfectant first) and resuming to our normal business. Granted, the bath is an abbreviated version of our normal tubby time - devoid of songs and play. However, it gets the job done, relieving us of both back strain and an argument due to my slight case of OCD and my husband’s frustration with me. Poor guy.
My hang-ups as a mom are always backed by good intentions. I just want my boys to be as safe and comfortable as possible so that they can enjoy all aspects of the travel experience.
Overdoing it?
Whenever we go away I tend to get over excited with the planning and try to squeeze as much as possible into a short time period. My husband loathes my doing the activity planning because I tend to pack our days to the point where we come back more tired than when we left. This is definitely a sickness of many American travelers. But I have a simple solution to it – give me a longer vacation!
I remember when we went to Cyprus several years ago. We were dating at the time and little did I know that this was our engagement trip. I spent several hours researching the country, its history, things to do, and local sites. So, when we arrived, I had a fully planned itinerary. You have to understand, most sites in Cyprus date back to antiquity and I wanted to stand in as many ancient ruins as I could. My soon-to-be-husband told me that he just wanted to relax and that it was all “just a bunch of rocks anyway.” On so many levels I found what he said to be funny. My philosophy has always been, you can relax at night or on the plane, our time is so limited. You just never know if or when you’ll be able to visit a place again, so in my mind, you should make the most out of it while you’re there. Personally, when I’m traveling somewhere new, I don’t sleep well because I’m too amped to explore new things!
Just because I have children now, I don’t want to curb that enthusiasm. I’d like them to also be anxious, zealous, wide-eyed and enthusiastic whenever and wherever we travel. I want them to overdo it and expect to see everything in 7 days too! They’re my kids so they probably will. But for now, while they’re young, I’ll cut them some slack. Their little legs can’t take all the walking right. Frankly, if it doesn’t have a pool or a playground, my 5 year old could care less. Daddy wins for now. But mommy is slowly biding her time.
Day Trips
I don’t know about anyone else, but there’s a time for jumping in the deep end of the pool and a time for taking baby steps. In my quest to stay young-looking as long as possible, I try not to provoke the dormant gray hair follicles just waiting to pop up from an onslaught of stress. So when it comes to traveling with small children, I prefer to tip toe my way from the shallow end of the pool to the place where I can tread water and then break out into a full backstroke. Enjoyable stress-free travel with small children is all about the p’s: practice, planning, preparation, and patience.
Before I take my two young sons, 5 year old AC and 1 year old AJ on their first world tour, I will be mastering the day trip with them. I want my boys to get accustomed to being on the go. And I’d like to fine tune a rhythm for traveling with them. Day trips are quick and easy and serve as practice for the longer trips waiting in the wings. They require a certain level of planning all unto themselves. In essence they are easier to plan for than overnight trips but you still have to plan accordingly because you’re trying to pack as much fun as you can in a shorter time span.
One of the easiest ways to plan for a day trip is to jump on the computer and do all of the research several days before so that you can psyche yourself up for the adventure ahead. One of my favorite sites is tripadvisor.com because I am a slave to opinions and reviews. Shoot, most of my home shopping decisions are done by reviews from everyday folk and that’s exactly what you get on Trip Advisor. Some of the reviews are straight comedy but sometimes you get a perspective on a hotel or a restaurant or an attraction that you would have never expected. A couple of years ago, my husband and I decided to take an impromptu trip to Ft. Lauderdale with AC and I planned the whole trip based off of reviews from Trip Advisor. Since I was pregnant at the time, of course my main focus was the best places to eat in the Ft. Lauderdale area but my husband was shocked that our schedule was packed and that I had done so much planning in so little time. I find the site to be an invaluable gem for both day and overnight trips.
I’ve also found that preparing for my day trip with the kiddies goes so much smoother when I write down exactly what it is I need to do in order to get out the house and on the road as quickly as possible. My life as a mother is ruled by To Do Lists. When we’re going on a trip I write up at least 3 different lists: a general list, a what-to-pack list, and a food list. With everything on my mind, I’m bound to forget something. If I don’t write things down, forget about it, I either a.) Never make it out of the house on time or b.) End up either turning the car around our going back and forth from the car to the house at least five times because I forgot something. I make my To Do List either the night before or right after I’ve showered and gotten dressed for the day. I make the children’s breakfast quickly, treading that fine line between ensuring that they are full enough to make it a few hours before asking for a snack and being overly full such that we can’t make it out of the house due to bathroom visits. Once they’re fed breakfast, I start checking off my line items on the To Do List. It makes me feel accomplished when I do so. Here’s an example of one of my general day trip To Do Lists:
- Wash up and Get Dressed
- Make Breakfast
- Pack Snacks (don’t forget mommy’s too)
- Take GPS
- Pack extra change of clothes
Simple. Then, I make a list for the snacks that I plan to take so that I don’t forget to put something in the cooler for myself. We moms always forget about our needs but if we don’t take care of the ship’s captain, guess what? It’s bound to sink.
Last but not least, I down about three 12-ounce glasses of patience. Did I mention I have two young boys? Oh yeah, I said that already. Okay, so I drink one glass after I’ve finished my To Do List, take a couple of sips of my second glass in the car and then finish it off once we reach our location, and finally drink the third glass at the end of our day when everyone is tired and we’re heading back home. Those three glasses make the day more enjoyable for everyone involved and keeps me excited about continued travel with my kids.
